The answer NO is an important ally when you are focusing in on your ideal day and ideal life. I talk a lot about IDEAL DAY – and really it’s because it is the answer to clearing the overwhelm, doing better work, and doing what you love. If you design your ideal day, you really can fill your days with joy. Saying NO is a huge part of constructing your ideal day.
Let be begin this post by saying I am HORRIBLE at saying NO. I really am, and I have to be honest about it. I am learning everyday from the mistakes I’ve made, saying YES to something that should have been a NO. So I’m learning right beside you.
I guess I’m a people pleaser or something. It really HURTS me to say NO to things – but I understand the importance, and I’m on my way! The first step to recognizing a problem is admitting to it right? So can we all just admit we are terrible at saying NO? Okay, cool. So let’s start now!
So what are the kind of things we need to say NO to?
1. NO to anything that doesn’t serve our bigger purpose.
This comes after we define our WHY, our bigger purpose. What is the ultimate goal you’re working towards? Let’s develop a filter in which we ask ourselves a question when something comes up. Does saying YES to this serve my bigger purpose? Does this job/project/opportunity help me get to my goal of _____ ? If not, that can trigger a NO.
2. NO to things we specifically don’t NEED to do.
If you’re wearing a million hats, and some of those hats can be worn by someone else, we should probably say NO to wearing that hat. For example, if you are charging $50/hour for your services, and you can pay someone $10/hour to clean your house, wouldn’t you be better off making that $40/hour profit by hiring a house cleaner and working instead of cleaning? Identify which jobs/commitments you CAN say NO to, and get it off your plate so that you can do more YES things.
3. NO to things that are not on your YES list.
This one is really simple – but can be pretty powerful. A couple weeks ago we created a YES list. Is this task NOT on your YES list? Then perhaps it deserves a NO!
4. NO to mindless distractions.
Are you distracting yourself with social media, just to feel bad afterwards and defeated after something you read? Time to limit this, gut your feed of the negative, and get moving on things that matter. NO to social media distractions.
5. NO to being taken advantage of.
Keep your time off/time with family/refresh SACRED. Develop your boundaries and stick to them. Don’t let others cross those lines you’ve set. Set your office hours, and say NO to letting things TAKE OVER your personal time. Keep your prices firm. Say NO to being bullied.
6. NO to self doubt and fear.
This is a big one, but it’s super important. We talked about fear before, and that we can’t let it stop us. We need to say NO to the negative thoughts in our head, to the naysayers, to anyone who doesn’t believe in us, or encourage us. Let’s say NO to doubting ourselves, and NO to being afraid to take a leap of faith when it matters.